2018 was the year I will talk to my kids about. It will be the year I recall when I want to see the worst and the absolute best the world has to offer. It will be the year I say “ Remember you survived 2018 YOU can do anything.”
To make the really long story of 2018 short… here are the cliff notes.
At the end of 2017 I decided to give up my art. But then I got a job at an art school and figured it was a sign from above that I should keep doing art, while working part time within the art school industry. It was the pits. Everyone was a struggling artist and not in the good ways. They were dark, moody creatures that believed that the more they suffered, the more they were told their art sucked and they needed art classes that, that made them real artist. I was just a girl painting in her house, and the environment ate at me. It made me question why I wasn’t like them and then they made me question if I should be an artist at all. I left.
I went back to my roots in real estate. I closed HEart by Cc. I worked 9-5 Monday through Friday. I missed my kids school performances. I sat in hours of traffic. I wore high-heels. I smooth talked clients. I feed BS to people because it was my job to do so. I answered calls when I was off the clock because it was important. Collected a crappy paycheck and then was treated like the gum on the bottom of people’s shoes. It was terrible. I got sick. The stress was killing me. I was forced to quit. It was strange and I will reflect often about how people are not who they say they are and that you can trust very few in business.
Job-less and on disability due to my illness with an auto immune disease, I had nothing left to lose. My health was gone. My art was gone. My money was gone. My heart was done. And it was there that my husband ( thee most patient and amazing man God created since Jesus Christ ) took my hands and said “What do you want to do? If money did not matter what would your job be?”
So I reflected. I prayed. I sought the desires of my heart. God’s will for my life, and I knew I wanted to create art. I wanted to collect a steady paycheck. I wanted to be around nice, funny, kind people. I wanted to make friends. I wanted to be able to get sick if I was sick and still have a job to come back too. I wanted to know that if I couldn’t be at work because of an IEP meeting or my kid was getting an award…that I could ask for it off, get it covered, etc.
I wanted a job that I could take more hours with when art was slow and less hours when art was busy. I didn’t care about labels, titles or importance anymore. I didn’t need to be the CEO, Account Manager, District Manager, blah blah blah. I needed to be happy. I needed to be at peace. I needed a job that would let me be me.
I wrote down my top choices.
Be an artist. Get licensing deals. Create for others. Just create again.
Working at a popular grocery store.Those people looked mellow. They seemed to be having fun. How hard could it be? (hahahaha just wait til I tell you)
Start a new business selling coffee from my vw bus all over San Diego.
Simple, right? With the help of my husband and the grace of God…
I re-opened HEart by Cc and started selling what I wanted too. Stickers, prints, journals, enamel pins.
I applied in person at that grocery store. I interviewed. I got the job. More to share about that soon.
I still am dreaming about the mobile coffee shop. I can’t wait to share it all with you. Document it here for my kids. For me. So that I can look back and reflect about how it all turned out.
In July I also started Remicade Infusions which has given me remission from my disease. My health is on the mend. I lost 45 pounds in 2018. 32 pounds just since September. I’m loving the sound of my feet walking away from things not meant for me. God’s plan for my life is better than my dreams. God is faithful and I am proof that you can be lost, found, wander away, hit rock bottom, and still be made whole again by the redeeming power of grace.
2019 I don’t know where you will take me, but I know that I am ready for it.